Trash talking is divisive among gamers. If you go too far, you run the risk of sending your friend home crying and never again playing another round of Mario Party against them. Or, if youâre conflict-averse, a few unsavory words over Madden could make you think worse of your good buddy. Some stand by trash talk as a healthy, expressive way of gaming. For others, itâs toxic.
When I play local multiplayer games, I talk trash. I trash talk randoms I encounter in Smash Bros. rooms at cons. I trash talk colleagues when weâre playing games I have no experience with. In my living room, I trash talk friends throughout round upon round of random indie game. Trash talking can wrap plot and drama around an otherwise average gaming session. As long as everyoneâs down, on equal ground, generally good-spirited and follows the rules, Iâm an advocate. Otherwiseâand this happens a lotâtrash talking can end in bad vibes and hurt feelings.
Yes, there are rules, a sort of tacitly-understood The Art of War for saying shit while you play video games. Not everyone knows how to do it. And so, some tips are in order.
What is trash talking
Boasting about your skills, intimidating or making fun of a competitor in an effort to up the ante, joke around or demoralize them. Examples include âMy low-tier fave will stomp you,â âYeah, you would pick a cheap character like thatâ and the classic, âGet fucked.â Trash talking also encompasses the lighter, âCome at meâ and âYou know, crosshairs are for aiming.â
Why would you do that?
Like I saidâtrash talking is not for everyone. Some might find itâŠ. uncivilized. Toxicity and abusive behavior are already pretty rife in multiplayer gaming communities. And Iâm not going to advocate for giving shit to your friends unless they really deserve it.
My defense for this mode of gamingâwhen done respectfullyâis purely personal. Between me and another consenting and on-par gamer, every outcry, diss or bruised ego, and every bout of vain heroics and over-the-top gloating increases my investment in a match. It throws my gameplay decisions into sharp focus. It makes my wins, and my friendsâ, all the sweeter. It canonizes hype moments, so months or years later, we can joke about that time you thought you could be beat me in Street Fighter or that time you stole three Mario Party stars from me and laughed for an hour and so on. Throughout history, from the Iliad to todayâs wrestling matches, fighters have woven stories around their deeds. In no world am I Achilles or Sasha Banks, but I am someone who thinks fighting is more meaningful when itâs attached to mythology.
When to trash talk
Trash talking is best in in-person social situations with several people around to check you and your opponentsâ manners. Local multiplayer games are basically the only acceptable context for this. Ideally, youâre hanging around in a living room and passing the controller from friend to friend.
Often, youâll encounter harsh or boastful words at gaming tournaments or public areas where many people are playing competitive games. If youâre in the same tier of play, neck-and-neck in competition, it can work, but itâs riskier when you donât know your competitor.
Trash talking strangers online is bad in my opinion. Itâs just bad. Itâs nearly impossible to do it without tripping over the line between âgood-naturedâ and âharassment.â You have no history of friendship with this person, and, in all likelihood, you will have no future friendship. Spewing insults to randos over voice chat is the equivalent of punching somebody who is standing behind a thick, black curtain. You donât know how theyâll feel about it and they wonât see it coming. It could ruin their day. So I recommend not doing it.
Who to trash talk
Friends or family you have longstanding competition with, and a lot of love for, are the most common recipients and proponents of trash talking. Childhood friends, siblings or anyone youâve competed against for years and years have probably put up with your crap for long enough anyway. With that said, itâs not about them being stuck with you. Itâs about the fact that, probably, your relationship dynamics extend to, say, zapping each other in Mario Kart or blocking each other out in Soul Calibur
(In my experience, it is a bad idea to trash talk significant others while you are playing video games with them, especially if you are better than them at said game. In an interview for this story, my boyfriend went on the record saying, âYeah it has made me feel bad and made me want to play certain games with you less.â Kudos to those who can restrain themselves.)
With anybody else, including acquaintances and strangers, maybe donât go into a match with shit-talking guns blazing. Itâs bad sportsmanship. Assume that a stranger or acquaintance youâre playing in a competitive video games does not appreciate hearing why they suck and youâre great. After a few matches, youâll be able to feel out each otherâs comfort levels.
Most important is that your opponent is on the same skill level as you. If youâre bragging about how good you are at Tekken to somebody who has never played Tekken, you are a jerk. I am the first to admit that it can be difficult to assess someoneâs skill or level of confidence. But trash talking is only fair, and also, only fun, if youâre on even footing.
How to trash talk
Now that we know when and who to trash talk, letâs talk about the how. This is easier to explain in specific instances. If you, like me, are gonna do it, itâs best to follow the rules:
In the character select screen of a fighting game, if your opponent picks a low-tier or goofy character, you can make fun of that character or forecast how the game will go
While waiting for a match to cue, you can hype your performance
Cheer for yourself. If you do something clutch, you can point it out
Intersperse boasts or jabs with praise and compliments, so youâre not just dumping on your opponent
If your opponent leaves an opening for you or makes a mistake, you can say something about itâunless itâs a truly dire and embarrassing mistake, in which case, it might be good to keep your mouth shut
If your opponent is using a move that is widely considered over-powered, you can point it out
Taunts exist in games for a reason. Sometimes, a quick taunt can speak for you
Keep the trash talking between character selection and the final fightâthereâs no drama after thereâs a winner and, anyway, it doesnât necessarily give your opponent an opportunity to redeem themselves
Be witty! Anybody can be rude
If you dish it, you have to take it. Be a good sport when your opponent talks smack back
How not to trash talk
Personal attacks are bad. I hear these types of insults all the time. Itâs weak and a reflection of your own bad trash talking skills if you insult somebodyâs weight, race, religion, family, economic background, gender or mental health. Itâs shitty and uncreative to tell your opponent that you ârapedâ them.
Donât trash talk people you donât know. And have mercyâif your opponent is bad at the game youâre playing, or having a bad day, you could make them pretty upset.
For me, trash talking can be a more honest way of competing: We both want to win, so letâs talk about it, loudly, in each otherâs faces. Iâm mad if you get a hit on me. Iâm happy if I spike you into the abyss. Fist-pumping is how I express that. You might express it differently. Thatâs fine. Trash talking is not widely accepted because it often appears (or simply is) antisocial. If done properly, it is not; but in any case, it is on trash talkers to level with their more mild-mannered gaming peers.
