A Week In Comments

It’s so colorful, you have to strip naked and cover yourself in an assortment of paints that would make a rainbow vomit with jealousy just to gain admittance.

This room is the reason Wizard of Oz has color.

It is where the Technicolor Dream coat comes to die.

Amateurs.

Picture related, it’s my gardener.

Question 1: Does your console play digital games? (A wad of paper and pencil are not digital.)

Question 2: Is it actually portable? (Systems that must be played while on a table in horrible red hues that may or may cause eye strain are not portable.)

Question 3: Is the game console actually created and sold to people? Do people actually purchase it? (Lookin’ at you, N-Gage…)

Question 4: Does the console have any titles that do not solely fall into the following categories: made for children to learn and narrowcasted to them, rip-offs of other popular titles, hacks of other titles, games that are mostly produced in the time-span of a week?

Question 5: Is your console a gaming focused machine, or a machine that has gaming tacked on as an after-thought? If the latter, you are not legitimate.

Question 6: Does your console have any games that will have a legacy in 25 years enough for the company to make a video commercial about the character in the game turning 25 years old? Or, alternatively, a game that will be remembered in 10 years?

If you are able to pass this simple test, you are a legitimate portable gaming device. If you are unable to pass this test, you’re likely kidding yourself if you think people are really using your device for gaming.

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