Mother Simulator is a PC game that lets you take care of a baby. You change their diaper, give them a bottle and a pacifier, and tend to their needs when they start crying. It seems simple, until you realize youâve been clenching your jaw and youâve got a cramp in your neck cause your kid just wonât stop needing things.
Mother Simulator starts with three tutorial levels that teach you how to give your kid a pacifier, change their diaper, and prepare a bottle. The physics are wonky, and each level has a conspicuous timer ticking down at the time of the screen, adding just enough pressure that youâre prone to mess things up. Youâll accidentally throw the pacifier halfway across the room, knock over the bottle and get it dirty, or drop formula all over the floor before you figure out how to feed your screaming child. Once youâre out of the tutorial, things get harder as youâre expected to feed yourself on top of taking care of your baby. In one level, you manage having food poisoning by intermittently running to the bathroom while also caring for your kid.
What starts out banal becomes surreal. The gameâs Steam description assures you that the baby is âtotally not evil,â though if you look, you can earn an achievement called âEvil.â The gameâs premise is also just bizarre. Youâre on a reality television show taking care of a robot baby, and according to the opening screen, this is âthe most popular television show for the whole family.â Thereâs an in-game audience for this show, as you can hear loud cheering and jeering as you play through each level. And thatâs not even getting into the actual challenges of the game. The goal of one the levels is to throw out your babyâs dirty diapers by shooting hoops with them in your backyard.
The whole game feels like a sprint, where youâre trying to juggle both your and your kidâs needs before you run out of time. Although itâs not a true to life simulation, it does seem as exhausting as parenthood actually is, at least according to how scattered my friends who are parents always seem to be. As a person who wants to be a mom someday, Iâm also happy to report that according to Mother Simulator, Iâm in the top 10 moms in the world. Suck it, my very tired parent-friends!
Mother Simulator is one of those games with the same pedigree as I Am Bread or Catlateral Damage. Itâs got an off-beat sense of humor and has controls that are just wonky enough to be a challenge but not so wonky that you want to tear out your own hair. If this game makes its way through the Jacksepticeyes and Markipliers of the world, I would not be surprised. For now I am content in the knowledge that Mother Simulator has determined that Iâd be a great mom.
