ZooKeeper
Play it on: Mobile
Current goal: Be an amazing daddy
OK, I’m lying about playing this game in the next few days, although now that I say it, I really do fancy playing a bit more ZooKeeper. I was so good at that game on DS. Like, legitimately good. I looked up high scores online once, and mine were in the top 10 worldwide. I’m never good at anything like that, so I’ll live off it for the rest of my life. But that’s not the point, because like I said, I was lying.
I’m getting a pet panther chameleon this weekend! She’s a gorgeous nine-month-old young lady, the derpiest creature you could hope for, and given female chameleons’ short lifespans and fraught natures, I’m going to give her the best damn life a little lizard can have. The vivarium is ready, the basking points are so good, it’s all up to temperature, there’s so much cover, and that’s all I’m going to do or care about all weekend. — John Walker
