#2 Sakura x Sasuke (Naruto)

I was debating bumping this entry down to like number seven but I talked myself out of it when I recounted all the ways Naruto’s Sasuke and Sakura are an infuriating pairing. In order to spare my blood from boiling, I’ll just bullet-point why these two suck together.

Sakura is basically Sasuke’s stalker and he is just not interested.

Sasuke attempts to kill Sakura after telling her to kill Karin, his new stalker.

Prior to this, Sakura lies to Naruto about liking him so she can convince Naruto to give up on saving Sasuke. She later gets cold feet about killing Sasuke, thus the above bullet point.

Sasuke tricks Sakura into thinking he’s fatally wounded her at the climax of the Great Ninja War.

Sasuke becomes an absentee father to their child, Sarada.

While the bar for Sasuke and Sakura is literally underground, the two found a way to burrow even deeper in the recent episode of Boruto: Naruto The Next Generation. Basically, Sasuke petulantly confronts Sakura about whether or not his absence upsets her. When Sakura admits that it does, Sasuke grabs her hand and places a wedding ring on her finger and shits out the casanova line “wear that.” All the self-respect leaves Sakura’s body and she thanks Sasuke for the privilege of finally getting her quota of Uchiha affection. Go back to fighting a dinosaur or whatever the hell Boruto has you doing, you idiot man.

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