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At Least Marco Rubio Is Good At Tecmo Bowl (And Talking Shit)

While Marco Rubio was a consistent loser on the 2016 campaign trail, he can hold his head high remembering that there are two things on this Earth that he’s apparently very good at: Tecmo Bowl and talking trash

https://deadspin.com/marco-rubio-will-have-to-find-another-bed-to-shit-1765211131

A profile on Salon, focusing on Rubio’s time as a football player at Tarkio College, reveals that he wasn’t that great at football. Or making friends. Indeed, he was only there because the school was such a hot mess:

A few years before Rubio entered, the school was desperate to stave off a financial collapse brought on by declining enrollment numbers. The board brought on a shady school administrator named Dennis C. Spellman who set up illegitimate off-campus programs, enrolled ill-prepared (and often homeless or drug-addled) students for them and collecting federal grants and loans in the process. The school was later described by one administrator as little more than ā€œa front.ā€ The student loan default rate was 79 percent, more than 10 times the national average.

While Rubio’s time there as a football player amounted to nothingā€”ā€œI know he showed up to play football, and I remember him suiting up for the team picture, but that is about itā€ recalls one teammate—at least he got to spend some time on the NES.

The group and the rest of the dorm engaged in epic games of Tecmo Bowl, a rudimentary video game in which pro football teams would square off against each other. To a person, everyone contacted for this article recalls Rubio being far more successful at the 8-bit version of football than the real one, squirreling away for hours in his dorm room.

ā€œHe was far more competitive about that than he was about real football,ā€ recalled Tim Kirkpatrick, a wide receiver on the team.

Dorm-mates recall Rubio developing elaborate theories about how the game worked and how to execute trick plays with the controls. And, they recall, he was a ferocious trash talker.

My, how ever did this man end up as a politician.

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