From the first released trailer to the ending credits, my Bayonetta experience was a roller coaster of emotions. I laughed, I scratched my head, and I threw up in my mouth a little bit.
The first glimpses of Bayonetta gave the impression that the game would be an immature sex-fest for the average young male gamer to play while locked in his room. For a while, I couldnât visit a gaming website without seeing Bayonettaâs face, butt, or both, and practically developed migraines from my constant eye-rolling at every mention of the one-handed âVery Easyâ mode. It was the epitome of lazy marketing: Using blatant T&A to sell a game.
Since Iâve learned not to judge a game by its trailer (which should be the new expression), I gave the busty witch a chance. The result both pleasantly surprised me and triggered more migraines.
Bayonetta, a character I initially despised for being such an in-your-face depiction of hypersexualization, proved to me that her sexuality works in context. A ridiculous action game deserves a ridiculous hero, and the long-legged, sass-talking Bayonetta certainly delivers. When surrounded by magical guillotines, ten-foot-long chainsaws, and weapons that double as stripper poles, the caricature that is Bayonetta fits in perfectly.
A popular topic of discussion is whether Bayonettaâs flagrant sexuality is demeaning or appealing to female gamers. Well, I must admit that the idea of âThe bigger the move, the fewer the clothesâ is a truly stupid excuse to get a character naked. Plus, come on, the camera didnât need to zoom that close to her nude⊠ahem, pelvic area. But even the things I dislike about Bayonetta donât offend me in the least as a female gamer.
Not only did Bayonetta grow on me, she appeals to me. The way she works her curvaceous, ba-donka-donk butt actually makes me feel better about my own booty, plus she rides motorcycles, clearly sharing my obsession for two-wheeled speed. Bayonettaâs elegance with her elongated limbs is also to die for. From tearing apart enemies (to what I assume is upbeat Japanese elevator music) to her dĂ©veloppĂ© of the leg when pulling levers, everything she does is graceful. As a dancer, I canât get enough of it.
That being said, my approval of Bayonetta in context doesnât mean the game is without flaws that take away from how hilarious the character could be. While itâs easy to wrap up Bayonettaâs body, power moves, weapons, and dialogue into a neat little package of nonsense, thereâs one major weakness that detracts from this cohesion: the storyline. The gameâs gaping plot holes and poor storytelling are what truly make it worthy of the term âmind-numbingly absurd.â
Bayonetta seems to be another case of a game not entirely knowing what it wants to be. Is it a tongue-in-cheek comedy with a horrible, confusing storyline? Or is it complex, intelligent fiction with a preposterous heroine? The plot ends up taking itself a bit too seriously, and this hinders what could be hilarious satire. When you allow your main character to be flattened Looney Tunes-style by a falling object, youâve just obliterated any hope of being taken seriously.
Take the âmachine gun legâ in Robert Rodriguezâs Planet Terror. It was hysterical because the story surrounding it was completely over-the-top; nothing needed to be explained. But Bayonettaâs cast spends a painfully long time trying to explain the mystical prophecy of the âLeft Eye,â and it still never quite makes sense. With such a weighty storyline, Bayonetta at least needed more character development. She has solely two dimensions: magical ability and forced sexuality. Itâs disheartening that, in a world where video games are considered art, weâre still getting shafted with shallow characters that would be rejected in any other medium.
But if âshallowâ is truly the gameâs intent, then Bayonettaâs sex appeal is no more outrageous than Marcus Fenixâs beefiness. Surprisingly, most males Iâve discussed the game with donât find Bayonetta arousing, but do agree that the game is gorgeous and fun as hell. Using sex to sell games is nothing new, and thankfully, Bayonetta offers something more than just âhot chick with guns.â Overall, I respect the boldness of Bayonettaâs character, but wish the creators had pushed the envelope of comic relief even further.
âŠAnd seriously, I hope Frank Sinatraâs undead zombie eats the brains of whoever is responsible for that âFly Me to the Moonâ remake. Sheesh.
Lisa Foiles is best known as the former star of Nickelodeonâs award-winning comedy show, All That. She currently works as a graphic designer and writes for her game site, Save Point. For more info, visit Lisaâs official website.
