Bullet Blender: The Winners

Yes, yes, yes, I know that’s a mixer, not a blender. Look, I play video games and write about sports, I’m not the goddamn chef de cuisine. Anyway, we asked you to blend that mixer with some twisted humor, and we’ve got 20 winners inside, including overall champ Ryan!

Getting started, power_overwhelming (14) became an approved commenter with that GLaDOS mashup, probably the best Portal-themed ‘shop in a contest that didn’t deliver the dreaded flood of cake jokes. Though stamp.your.foot (18) did supply a winning Portal meme.

MrEcko (11) continued the callback trend with Triforce and Reggie, while pan1da7 (13) reunited us with the ‘donk. BigMike McCarthy (3) was first aboard the Will-It-Blend-Guy bus, while Bossun (4) gave us Slap-Chop guy.

Other oddballs: Giant Boy Detective looked at a real blender and saw a Blooper. Graywing took the mixer into 8-bit land, and was probably the biggest crowd favorite of the week. And Lemon Nibs (9 and 10) was the rare ‘Shopper to place two entries in the finals. I can’t remember the last time that was done, but both are excellent, especially the Bob-omb Pressure Cooker. Kazaxat (8) took first place with an animated .gif last week, and gets in the final group with another this week. Maximize the image to see it display properly.

New implements, some of which may not be mixers or blenders: AwesomenessDude (2) developed that bitchin’ Thwomp Meat Tenderizer. Uinku (20) made three, the best of which was this Goomba toaster. (See his Piranha Plant Spatula here.) SallySalyu (16) shopped up a novelty blender as seen on TV. I thought it was a version of a discreet woman’s aid.

https://lastchance.cc/455653698%3C/a%3E%3C/p%3E

And that brings us to our overall winner, Ryan (15). Yes, that’s a vibrator joke, but it hit my G (for guffaw) spot for a few reasons: Peach’s expression, and the notations “No-Slip Pistol Grip,” “High Impact” and, best of all “Semi-Sentient.” Great work, Ryan! And thanks to everyone who contributed. We’ll be back tomorrow with another ‘Shop Contest.