Cats Are Jerks

Sorry to hear about your bug issue, but look at it this way: at least you don’t have cats. I have two, left here by an ex-girlfriend, unfortunately slightly past their kitten years and therefore no longer good eating. Previously I lived in an apartment with no real windows…just a couple of patio doors I couldn’t open for fear of feline escape and some bolted-shut bedroom windows. I felt horrible for them, never getting to really feel the fresh air on their furry little faces.

Now I have real windows, and the little bastards are eating them.

If I lower the blinds they simply climb through them, destroying the only barrier between my privacy and the outside world in the process. They’ve already broken enough slats to the point where I keep all of my lights turned off in case someone peeks in and sees me picking my nose. Last night I awoke to the noise of one of them discovering how to climb to the ceiling using the window screen. Joy. From here on out I am feeding them nothing but pudding until they are plump enough to fry. Anyway…

What you missed today: