Hacked Crosswalks Play Biting Satirical Messages Imitating Musk And Zuckerberg

As we hurl ourselves as a species headfirst into the dystopian worlds of 1980s sci-fi movies, it seems only appropriate that we should see people responding to the tech-driven maelstrom by playing the role of vandal hackers. So it is that Silicon Valley crosswalks are currently playing satirical messages in the voices of Mark Zuckerberg and Elon Musk.

“Hi, this is Mark Zuckerberg, but real ones call me the Zuck,” begins one Palo Alto crosswalk’s voice message when the button is pressed. The voice—either an impersonator or AI recreation—continues, “You know, it’s normal to feel uncomfortable or even violated as we forcibly insert AI into every facet of your conscious experience. And I just want to assure you, you don’t need to worry because there is absolutely nothing you can do to stop it. Anyway, see ya!”

It’s a message that feels especially pertinent in the days following the enforced introduction of an entirely unwanted, impossible-to-remove AI button in Meta’s WhatsApp.

Another message that’s been heard in multiple places is ostensibly spoken by unofficial U.S. vice president Elon Musk. “Hi, this is Elon Musk,” the message begins. “Welcome to Palo Alto, the home of Tesla engineering. You know, they say money can’t buy you happiness…” There’s then a long pause, before the voice picks up again. “And yeah, OK, I guess that’s true—God knows I’ve tried. But it can buy a Cybertruck, and that’s pretty sick, right? Fuck, I’m so alone.”

A third hack, also featuring a recreation or imitation of Musk’s voice, makes a deliberately bad joke about cancer, which doesn’t really land.

According to NBC, it’s not clear how the hacks occurred. Done on Friday, April 11, it took city officials a couple of days to become aware of them, allowing plenty of viral recordings to be made and enjoyed. The chief communications officer for the City of Palo Alto told NBC that the audio feature on the affected crosswalks has now been disabled, adding that it was only affecting a small number of crossings, and that “signal operations are otherwise unaffected.” Other crossings were hacked in Menlo Park and Redwood City, which were also fixed over the weekend.

This does seem like exactly the sort of tech-forward rebellion our newfound The Running Man reality demands. I hope those responsible had spikey green mohawks and wore bandana masks with skulls-and-crossbones printed on them, letting out a high-pitched cackle as they drove away on neon-covered motorbikes.