Finally, A Game That Lets Me Live Out My Millenium-Era Reality TV Dreams

In 2007, I graduated high school with one stand-out senior superlative: Most Likely To Be On Reality TV. Since then, I’ve come close (I was nearly on Peacock’s The Traitors, but couldn’t take off from work, and skipped out on being a human canvas on a certain tattoo TV series because I was too anxious I’d end up with something hideous permanently on my body), but never felt as close to the magic as I’ve hoped. The Crush House, an upcoming game from Devolver Digital and Nerial, looks like it’s going to fulfill all my reality TV dreams, and then some.

You’re not the reality TV star in The Crush House, and that’s probably a good thing—most of them don’t turn out that well, anyway (just look at Vanderpump Rules’ Tom Sandoval). Instead, you’re the producer, the person making sure that the latest season of The Crush House is the best one yet. That means you’ll pick the cast of characters who have to live together in an iconic 1999 Malibu mansion, run perfectly placed commercials to rake in some advertising dollars to help furnish the house, and make sure you film all the drama and romance that will inevitably ensue when you lock hot, young singles in a space together.

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But you’re not just doing a one-and-done season—your job is to ensure The Crush House has the same longevity as Big Brother or The Bachelor or The Real Housewives of Orange County. You’ll be in charge of multiple different seasons, which will vary based on the cast you pick and the demands of your (likely fickle) audience. And there’s a darkness at play, as evidenced in the trailer—Crush House has its secrets, it seems, and you can unearth them if you break the cardinal rule: Do not speak to the talent.

The Crush House doesn’t have a release date yet, just a “coming soon” on Steam, but I can’t wait to see what drama and dark mysteries it holds.