Dear Crytek, Something Has Gone Terribly Wrong

In today’s laser-targeted edition of Speak Up on Kotaku, commenter Petey 2 Kold has an issue with Crysis 2 on the PlayStation 3, and would like to make developer Crytek aware of it. Have at them, Petey 2.

Dear Crytek:

As you read this, I am conducting an experiment. I’ll tell you about it at the end.

Crytek, I like Crysis 2. It’s my thing. Some people don’t like it, and I respect that. Can even see where they’re coming from, but I don’t agree.

I downloaded the Retaliation map pack. I paid for it. I can’t play it because apparently, out of 25 million or so Xbox live accounts, me and some guy named “last crucible” are the only two people who want to play the Retaliation map pack.

At first, I thought it might be something on my end. And-taking a cue from the guy who made that video about Treyarch sucking on the ps3-I tried all my other games, from Reach to Killzone 3, and everything worked wonderfully.

I also wondered if I was the only one experiencing this problem, but found some like opinions / experiences on your forums.

And now there’s the Decimation map pack. And I noticed that this one includes weapons.

Hmmm…I don’t want to be the cynic here, but did you include weapons because otherwise people might avoid it as a way of retaliating for Retaliation?

*flex*

Well, I’m no tech wiz when it comes to all things transmitted via electrical impulse, so if I’m wrong about it being a problem at your end, Crytek, I humbly apologize.

If I’m right about it being a problem on your end, I’d politely ask that you do two things:

1.) Stop releasing map packs.

2.) Get on that.

As for the experiment, I’ve been in the lobby of the Retaliation map pack for the time it took me to get the idea for, type and proofread this post. And I was staring at the television for a while beforehand. After which I went out and scored a *** of **** from my roommate.

Crytek, I wanted to see if I could get this thing written and submitted without getting a match.

I was successful. “Last crucible” left a while ago.

I think I will, too.

Sincerely,

p2K

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