13. Solas
I don’t have to hypothesize as to whether or not Solas would be a good boyfriend in real life because he was already a terrible one in the Dragon Age games. This guy spends the entirety of Inquisition lying to you about the real reason he’s been helping you, which is to help get his world-ending plan back on track after he fucked it up. Even if you’re in a romantic relationship with the guy, this truth doesn’t come to light until after he dips at the end of the game and tells you why he ghosted you in the DLC. Yes, it’s tragic, it’s angsty, and it makes for great drama, but one day you, too, will be old and tired and want someone who’s just gonna be there when you get home from work. This man is too busy trying to destroy the world for a righteous cause to care about seeing you every night. The Veilguard only makes his crimes against humanity more clear and even if he ends up smoothing things over with his girl in the end, you deserve someone who isn’t gonna leave you waiting for 10 years to get his shit together. Worst rl boyfriend, easily.
