Hades, Supergiant Gamesâ award-winning 2020 roguelite, was renowned for its excellent combat, beautiful art style, entrancing music, and very, very hot characters. Youâd expect a game about Greek gods (who were purposefully attractive so that the normies of Ancient Greece had something to aspire towards) to include a ton of hot characters, but Hades managed to exceed expectations. And from what weâve seen of the Hades II technical test and Supergiantâs latest gameplay stream, it looks like the sequel will be even hotter. Take that, cancel pigs.
Despite what certain corners of the internet might believe, there isnât a lack of attractive people in modern video gamesâBaldurâs Gate 3 just set a GOTY award record, and that game was full of hotties. But when compared to something like Stellar Bladeâs Eve, the standard bearer for the latest gamer culture war, the manner in which Hades depicts its characters (and their attractiveness) is fundamentally different.
Understanding Hadesâ hotness
Hades charactersâ sexiness is woven into their personalities, as much a part of them as their wants, needs, and emotionsâand their bodies, however scantily clad or salacious, are not in motion, they cannot be manipulated or posed or peered at from different angles. Instead, itâs like youâre looking at statues or paintings of these gods and their eternal, infinite sexiness. There is desire here, sure, but there is also power and reclamation, there is longing because you only get a tiny little taste of their beauty. The concept of âlook, but donât touchâ is incredibly sexyâitâs part of why strip clubs, many of which have strict rules on touching the performers, are so lucrative.
Conversely, as Issy Van Der Velde writes for Inverse, a character like Stellar Bladeâs Eve (like Lara Croft before her) is hot, but she doesnât seem to be aware of it: âsheâs sexy but doesnât know it; sheâs athletic and acrobatic but entirely controllable.â She is a blank slate, a poseable sex doll, her bountiful chest heaving during idle animations. Unlike Bayonetta, whose sexiness is folded into her personality and fighting style, Eve is just blandly attractive. Eve is the object of desire, not the owner of it.
In Hades 2, everyone is horny for each other, and thus it feels far less leery and creepy for us as players to be horny for them, too. These are sexual people, gods who are infamous for their rampant and often unchecked desires. Aphrodite, goddess of sexual love and beauty, would be naked and have pink hair down to her ass crack, and the wry smile she wears in her character photo implies that she knows youâre hoping the one perfectly placed tendril over her nipple would shift ever-so-slightly.
But while Aphrodite embodies a more traditional idea of sexiness (which, by the way, is subjectiveâlook at how many of us are thirsting over Walton Gogginsâ noseless Ghoul in the Fallout TV series), Hades 2 includes all different kinds of hot. Like Baldurâs Gate 3, there is a variety of sexiness on display here, from the burly bearness of Hephaestus (whose presence here suggests a more inclusive approach to body types than seen in the first game), to the muscle momminess of Hecate and Nemesis. There is a smorgasbord of sexiness on display, not a singular, decidedly straight male-oriented take on attractiveness.
Hades 2 offers us an extensive collection of finery, a lengthy CVS receipt of thirst traps, horny character models for horny characters who have ownership over their beautiful bodies. It is exactly the kind of hot that we need right now, and I canât wait to see more of it. The Hades 2 technical test is currently accepting signups on Steam, and the Early Access release will come soon after. Stay hydrated, kids, itâs gonna get hot in here.
.
