How To Talk To Your Children About The New Angry Birds Update

There’s a new update for Angry Birds available today, transforming the Bomb Bird’s explosions into highly-destructive electrical pulses. Your children will have questions about this update, and the accompanying trailer. We’ve got answers.

How many updates are Rovio going to make?

All of them.

How does a Bomb Bird become an Electrified Bomb Bird?

When two Bomb Birds love each other very much, and one of the becomes electrified, that one is an Electrified Bomb Bird. The other one really doesn’t matter. You’ll understand when you are older.

How much does the free update cost?

Are you really that stupid? Oh dear, come back. I didn’t… oh great, now she’s crying.

How come the Bomb Bird can hold a tea cup, but has to use his nose to play Angry Birds?

It’s telekinesis that allows the Bomb Bird to hold a tea cup. Telekinesis allows limbless cartoon characters to grasp physical objects. It does not, however, register as contact on today’s sophisticated touchscreen devices. That’s why he plays with his nose. Also, it’s called a beak.

When can I play the new Angry Birds update, available today on iOS and Android?

Finish Dark Souls and we’ll see.