Kirby Gets Drunk

Yep. “Kirby, The Loopy Picnic Crasher” is the first chapter in Kirby Manga Mania, and not only does it ease you with the bluntness of a mallet into the reality that Kirby is gonna talk throughout this manga, it also boldly sets the tone for the rest of the series by having him get “loopy.” What is getting loopy? Well, it’s basically the editor’s way of getting around writing that Kirby gets shitfaced in a manga that prominently displays Nintendo’s copyright on its cover.

“Was it really okay for me to draw Kirby loopy?!” Hikawa writes in an author’s note. “I was definitely fearless back then.”

Here’s how Kirby ends up getting white girl wasted. King Dedede doesn’t take kindly to Kirby crashing his picnic, leading him to shoo away Kirby by chucking whatever item is closest at Kirby’s malleable dome. Unfortunately, that happens to be a bottle of “loopy juice.” Kirby guzzles down the alcoholic beverage and immediately becomes a belligerent drunk.

What’s a drunk Kirby do? He threatens to eat Dedede, sings karaoke poorly, gets existential, repeats the phrase “Lemme tell you about life” (he never actually tells Dedede about life), and performs a “trick” by eating the picnic goers and performing 10 copy ability attacks on the King.

Ultimately Kirby passes out in the grass. Yet the horrors don’t end there. Kirby’s body begins to wriggle. Nope, he’s not throwing up. It turns out the 10 people he’d eaten are still alive, and are crawling their way out of his mouth.

Kirby later wakes up, forgetting what transpired, but that image of innocent people crawling out of Kirby’s mouth is permanently seared into my brain.