That’s not Skyrim. It’s Ark: Survival Evolved. The megalodon of Steam survival games is getting two new biomes today: snow and swamp. There are new creatures populating each, including dire wolves and giant devil frogs. More details here. You’re reading Steamed, Kotaku’s page dedicated to all things in and around Valve’s stupidly popular PC gaming…

City-Builder + Card Game Concrete Jungle Is Really Good

So that we’re all on the same page, I will crudely reduce the excellent card game Concrete Jungle down to this: it’s SimCity vs Tetris vs Scrabble. Which sounds weird, I know, but trust me, it works If I was going to explain everything about the game—especially the stuff I like—I’d be typing all week,…

Players Still Haven’t Figured Out All Of Undertale‘s Secrets

Undertale is an RPG where you can talk your way out of every battle. It’s amazing. And yet, that might be the least remarkable thing about it. (Warning: BIG spoilers for Undertale follow. I’m not gonna spoil everything, though. Rather than discussing each specific secret, which would be terrible of me, I’m gonna talk more…

GTA Online Crew Goes All Out With Recruitment Ad

Meet Los Demonios. They are a GTA Online crew that is looking for new blood. I’ve seen my share of GTA Online crews who do some intense roleplay, but this gang’s recruitment ad takes the cake: Not only did they put in the effort to make a nice cinematic trying to woo prospective brothers and…

Pewdiepie’s Game Tries Way Too Hard

Right now, the top game on the App Store stars none other than Felix Kjellberg. I took the game for a spin, and here’s what I found. PewDiePie: Legend of the Brofist is a $4.99 mobile game where the big bad villain is…a barrel. Yes, you read that right. An evil barrel. To the average…

The Hunt For Destiny‘s Most Mysterious Weapon [UPDATE]

Deep in the bowels of Destiny, a video game in which players travel through space wondering how the hell Bungie got away with that damn crucible bounty quest, there’s an enigmatic weapon that nobody’s discovered yet. It’s called Sleeper Simulant, and for the past two weeks, players have been going crazy trying to find it.…

So Many Robots Die In The First Five Minutes Of Assault Android Cactus

Aww, look at Cactus. Isn’t she cute? You wouldn’t know just by looking at her that’s she’s a flamethrower-wielding robot-killing machine. Developed by Brisbane’s Witch Beam, Assault Android Cactus is my new favorite twin-stick shooter. It’s everything I want in the genre—fast action, tactile shooting, edge-of-your-teeth escapes—plus things I didn’t know I wanted, like a…

What To Make Of Assassin’s Creed Syndicate, One Month Out

Less than a month from release, Ubisoft’s Assassin’s Creed Syndicate is likely to be judged as much on its own merits as on how well its publisher listened to fan discontent about the flagship series and what it’s been willing to change. Companion apps are out. Platform-exclusive DLC is back. The overall plan for the…

Guy Cries Tears of Joy After Beating Mario Maker’s “Hardest” Level

Thousands of people have tried this grueling Mario Maker level. Only a handful of people have actually beaten it thus far—and they had to go through hell to do it. Here’s what that feels like: This video, uploaded by 広樹 あああ, shows what happened after a Japanese broadcaster beat the infamous “Pit of Panga: P-Break”…

43 Days Later, Twitch Has Beaten Dark Souls

It took them six weeks, but Gwyn, the Lord of Cinder, has been defeated. Remember, when Twitch Plays Dark Souls kicked off in mid-August, it wasn’t looking good. They were barely able to stumble into the first boss room, let alone make any significant progress towards slaying the game’s first challenge. They got stuck in…

Archie Comics’ New Version of Veronica Is Like, Totally, A Better Type of Kardashian

Archie Andrews is really different now. So is Betty Cooper, the girl-next-door who’s not his girlfriend anymore. But we haven’t seen much of the third part of the classic comic-book love triangle in Archie Comics’ newly-rebooted flagship until today. I dunno, guys… Veronica might be kinda cool? Archie #3 comes out this week, featuring the…

Anyone who’s played N++ can see how utterly ridiculous this stage is. Watch the whole thing, then weep at our inability to ever be as good at this player. Jeez Contact the author at [email protected]

LEGO Dimensions: The Kotaku Review

Gandalf, Batman and Wildstyle walk into the Aperture Science Enrichment Center. Stop me if you’ve heard this one. Chances are you haven’t, as up until now the only place you could have stumbled upon that particular combination is your wildest imagination (or perhaps the imagination of a fan fiction author.) The LEGO Group is no…

Mobile Gaming Didn’t Kill The Vita — Sony Did

I have long been a fan of the PlayStation Vita. So this quote from one of Sony’s head honchos about portable gaming seriously bums me out. Here’s Shuhei Yoshida at a recent Q&A, as transcribed by Eurogamer, when asked if Sony will ever develop a Vita successor: “That’s a tough question. People have mobile phones…

My Five Favorite Kotaku Stories From Last Week

Marvel Comics used to have Assistant Editors’ Month, and last week, for reasons planned and unplanned, Kotaku had its version of the same. The top two editors of the site were out, but the rest of the team more than compensated with perhaps the strongest week of stories for September. It was hard for me…

Captain Planet Saves The Day In GTA V

Captain Planet was the only 90s edutainment show that had enough charm to fit into the heavy line-up of Saturday-morning cartoons. And we probably all remember its intro. If not, Merfish’s perfect GTA V version, including an environmental-friendly Trevor and all the Planeteers, will help to bring back memories. So, with Captain Trevor Planet on…

Twitch’s Boss Plays Hearthstone With Blizzard’s Boss At TwitchCon

One of the coolest things at Twitch’s very first convention this weekend was a bunch of Hearthstone matches, in front of an audience, between two very laid back CEOs: Blizzard’s Mike Morhaime and Twitch’s Emmett Shear. You might think someone like Mike Morhaime would easily obliterate anyone with some kind of perfect developer’s deck, but…