No Guest Stars Or Polls Today

Sorry folks. We were working with some people, and then their people’s people, and it just couldn’t come together in time. Which sucks, because I hear Mer-Man from Masters of the Universe had a hell of a poll idea.

That leaves me with the obligation to provide my one anecdote for the day. How about getting rousted out of bed at 8 by my neighbor, whose car had naturally broken down, and who needed a lift into town because he had a court appearance? I told him to call a taxi. No way in hell I’m getting even tangentially involved in his drama.

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Talk about a circumstance eminently predictable by the neighborhood in which it occurred. I’m beginning to think insurance actuaries are on to something.

There’s a 60-mile traffic jam in China – now entering its ninth day. That makes the 280 between 87 and 85 look like The Demon at Six Flags Great America.

Some woman in England paused to pet a cat, then picked it up and dumped it in a trash can, where it spent the next 15 hours. The poor thing’s owner, fortunately, has a security camera and caught the whole thing on tape. The Internet manhunt is on, and should be relentless.

Tiger Woods’ divorce is final; terms were not disclosed. I’m saying it’s at least eight figures, cash and prizes, possibly nine. Upside: He’s now free to bang women not named Mrs. Woods. Downside: They know he’s been in rehab for it.