Okay, Maybe the Minecraft Creeper Plush Does Look a Little NSFW

Coming in September from official Minecraft online retailer Jinx, this huggable depiction of the game’s most familiar foe does, at first, resemble the Incredible Hulk’s junk.

My younger sister Nadine was at my apartment watching my children when the UPS man arrived with the package containing the plush Creeper. Completely unfamiliar with Minecraft she was very confused when she opened the box to discover what for all the world looks like a 14-inch-tall fuzzy green bait and tackle with a face on the head.

“Oh no,” I assured her. “This is a video game character. See, it makes sounds.” I pressed the chest of the Creeper, causing it to emit the sound of hissing, followed by an explosion.

“So it’s an exploding green penis?”

Once you get the adorable home wrecker out of the box and all four legs come into play the illusion fades somewhat, but let’s face it: the Creeper has always been a dick, and it always will be.

Don’t be sad, little guy. You’re available right now for pre-sale at Jinx for $34.99.