Plants Vs. Zombies is Trying to Ruin Halloween for Everyone Forever

Plants Vs. Zombies studio PopCap games has teamed up with the American Dental Association in an attempt to steal candy out of the mouths of children everywhere, those bastards. PopCap, not the children — I mean, I can’t speak for their parentage, but damn, give them some candy.

Seeking to offer a “tooth-friendly” alternative to candy, PopCap and the ADA have joined forces to offer parents coupons good for a free copy of Plants Vs. Zombies for PC or Mac instead of the stuff kids really want when they get all dressed up and risk their lives on October 31. You can download the coupons right now at the offer website, though they’ll only be redeemable October 30 through November 10.

“We at PopCap have been interested in the potential for video games to provide benefits beyond entertainment for many years,” said John Vechey, PopCap co-founder and franchise studio director at PopCap via official press release. “We’re passionate about the very important cause behind the ‘Stop Zombie Mouth’ campaign and proud to be highlighting yet another positive effect that games can have on society.”

Postive effect? Look, PopCap, I didn’t have two children so I could steal their extra Plants Vs. Zombies coupons after they’ve gone to bed on Halloween night. This isn’t just about the children anymore! You screw this up for me and so help me I will curl into a little ball and weep until my wife runs to the store for discount candy on November 1.

I knew they’d turn evil once EA bought them.