Pansage, Pansear, Panpour

Is this a controversial selection? They’re definitely not the most physically revolting Pokémon, although I don’t want to look at them. They don’t have the grossest backstory, because that would involve them being interesting at all. It’s just… it’s just I hate them

I hate that they exist. I hate that they’re in the games, taking up space. I hate that they look like the cast of some knock-off pre-school cartoon show that airs on a deep cable Christian channel. They’re horrible, awful, dreadful drawings, before they’re even horrible, awful, dreadful Pokémon. They feel like the last idea, when the creators realized they still had three spots to fill, so fudged something in 30 seconds before going to the pub.

I’ll tell you what, though. That green one, the Pansage, its broccoli head can be cut off, hopefully killing it in the process, and then eaten to relieve stress. Get me some Pansage broccoli immediately.