Review Round Up: That Guy Is Poison

I believe it was the poet Bell Biv DeVoe who said “Never trust a big butt and a smile.” But one thing you can trust? Kotaku reviews. So let’s review what video games, movies and hardware we reviewed this week.

Splinter Cell Conviction Review: The Best Lurks In Shadows

In which Stephen Totilo uses the words Clancyverse and Daddening when describing Sam Fisher’s latest and late stealth adventure.

https://lastchance.cc/splinter-cell-conviction-review-the-best-lurks-in-shad-5516076%3C/a%3E%3C/p%3E

Alienware M11x Review: Ultraportable Gaming

In which Brian Crecente tests his pet gorilla’s ability to play Modern Warfare 2 on the tiniest gaming laptop we’ve ever reviewed.

https://lastchance.cc/alienware-m11x-review-ultraportable-gaming-5516181%3C/a%3E%3C/p%3E

Final Fight: Double Impact Micro-Review: Take Two and Call It a Classic

In which Owen Good takes pause with this retro collection’s ability to pause and never once mentions post operative transsexual Mad Gear gang member Poison. Hmph!

https://lastchance.cc/final-fight-double-impact-micro-review-take-two-and-c-5516615%3C/a%3E%3C/p%3E

Star Wars Cantina Micro-review: Serve Greedo First

In which I serve blue milk to thirsty patrons and namedrop Figrin D’an and the Modal Nodes like I’m some kind of Star Wars fan.

https://lastchance.cc/star-wars-cantina-micro-review-serve-greedo-first-5518362%3C/a%3E%3C/p%3E

Kick-Ass Movie Review: Please Step Away From The Comic Book

In which Mike Fahey has one warning for anyone who gives a damn: do not read Kick-Ass (before seeing this film).

https://lastchance.cc/kick-ass-movie-review-please-step-away-from-the-comic-5518791%3C/a%3E%3C/p%3E

Espgaluda II iPhone Review: When Will My Phone Explode?

In which Stephen Totilo breaks his vegetarianism (metaphorically) for a descent into bullet hell. Don’t miss his scathing single word assessment of this manic shooter’s music.

https://lastchance.cc/espgaluda-ii-iphone-review-when-will-my-phone-explode-5519170%3C/a%3E%3C/p%3E