Robbed GameStop Store Employee Threatened with Blasting

You’re in the GameStop, you’ve got your gun at the ready, you’ve cleared the cash register area of children, and now you’re ready to make your demand. “Give me the money!” Good! Now follow it up with a threat! “…or I’ll blast you!” Wait, what?

You shouldn’t rob video game stores; that should really go without saying. Hell, you shouldn’t rob anything, but should it come to that, at least make it look good. Practice your lines in front of a mirror, a ‘la Robert DeNiro in Taxi Driver. Try speaking them in as neutral an accent as possible, as to lessen the chances of being identified. And whatever you do, don’t tell the store clerk you’re going to blast them.

Shoot is a good word to use. Open fire is particularly classy. I’ve always been fond of that old standby, “Or nobody gets hurt.” Any of those will do, but you’ve got to remain calm enough to remember your lines. Otherwise you end up like the guy in the surveillance camera footage above, more concerned with the fact that he just said “Give me the money or I’ll blast you” than the fact that his face is framed in the surveillance camera as if he were sitting for a portrait.

Props to whoever was working the counter at the GameStop at 9700 Woodman Avenue in Arleta, Los Angeles on July 8 for not bursting into laughter. Your restraint is an inspiration to us all.

‘Give me the money or I’ll blast you,’ says gun-toting Arleta robber [Contra Costa Times]