Everyone will be able to see Star Wars: The Force Awakens soon. You know what that means, right? SPOILERS WILL BE EVERYWHERE.
Hell, those of us who are unlucky enough may already be spoiled, thanks to jerks on the internet spreading all sorts of info about The Force Awakens. Stephen Colbert knows how horrible that is, so he’s come up with a plan: flood the internet with fake spoilers, so that nobody knows what’s real and what’s not. He’s already thrown his hat into the ring, as evidenced by his Twitter:
There's a scene where Chewbacca gets into some dark chocolate and has to spend the night at the vet. #spoilerspoilers
— Stephen Colbert (@StephenAtHome) December 17, 2015
That tri-blade lightsaber turns out to be able to talk. Its catchphrase: “Hey! I'm lightsaberin' here!" #spoilerspoilers
— Stephen Colbert (@StephenAtHome) December 17, 2015
Samuel L. Jackson comes back to life as Mace Windu and exclaims, "What's in your wallet?" #spoilerspoilers
— Stephen Colbert (@StephenAtHome) December 17, 2015
Once everyone finds out they're delicious, the Ewoks are hunted to extinction. #spoilerspoilers
— Stephen Colbert (@StephenAtHome) December 17, 2015
Heh. Realistically speaking, though, if you want to avoid spoilers for Star Wars, you either have to see the newest movie ASAP, or you have to unplug from humanity until you can do so. It sucks, I know.
