The Funniest Guns In Saints Row: Gat Out Of Hell

I didn’t exactly loveSaints Row: Gat Out Of Hell, but it definitely had some great moments. One in particular earns you a weapon that’s among the silliest in the entire series—and that’s saying something.

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Hell hath no fury like a spoiler hater scorned. So, you know, spoiler warning.

One of the best aspects of Saints Row: Gat Out Of Hell is its top tier of weapons, The Seven Deadly Sins. They’re all pretty fun to earn and use, but the first one you can easily nab—the weapon for Sloth, Armchair-a-geddon—takes the cake for out and out zaniness. It’s a recliner with two gigantic miniguns mounted on its armrests, allowing you to kick back and relax while still moving at speeds of up to 1500 murders per hour. In action, that looks like this (via Throneful):

Getting it is as simple as completing the “Take A Break” mission, which you find near the start of the game. It’s not a crucial one, so I managed to skip it until late in the game, but I highly, highly recommend doing it asap.

Runner up for funniest weapon in Gat Out Of Hell goes to Boom Chicka, aka the Lust gun. A blast of its potent bullet-and-aphrodisiac cocktail will have baddies both cringing in pain and gyrating—rapt by sheer, ravenous desire—at you. It looks a little something like this:

Interestingly, this gun was, at one point during http://youtu.be/Kiv0GvGp24gGat Out Of Hell‘s development, going to be even raunchier. I asked associate producer Kate Nelson about things Volition scrapped for being too extreme even for a Saints Row game, and she said the team was tickled in some very particular regions by the concept of a lust gun. When I asked for specifics, she could only laugh. Oh to know what could have been.

To see the rest of the Seven Deadly Sin weapons—some of which are silly/awesome and a couple of which are… kinda letdowns—check out this video, also by Throneful:

They’re pretty cool, I think—another example of Gat Out Of Hell‘s disappointingly untapped potential glimmering through a smog of filler. Finding the paths to unlocking these weapons while I was doing aimless side missions was a nice treat. When the creepy, talking Gallows Dodger gun maniacally cackled its way into my life during a massive battle—in which I just so happened to achieve the last objective to unlock it—I had the biggest smile on my face. “An artist,” the gun called me in its almost seductive rasp as I reduced hell’s ashen cityscape to, er, smaller ashes. That moment felt like it was mine. Gallows Dodger might not be as funny as some of the others, but being able to tell that story means it will probably always be my favorite weapon in this game.

Between the highly specific, sin-related world objectives required to unlock these weapons and the game’s main-mission-less structure, it almost feels like Gat Out Of Hell was intended to be more sandbox-y than previous Saints Rows. More free-form, more spontaneous, more dependent on the player to create humor (or at least cool moments) rather than a script to dispense it. If only Gat could’ve struck the right balance, perhaps a true playground of player-driven gags ala Jazzpunk—but with more punching and shooting. What a game that could’ve been.