Music games arenât what they used to be, and in some cases, the world is safer for that. Video game expert Scott Steinberg and author of the new digital book âMusic Games Rockâ, tells us what the seven worst music video games of all time are.
Theyâre each wretched in their own special way.
Rock Revolution (2008, PS3/Xbox 360/Wii)
Though Konami arguably brought band-based games to the worldâs attention through brilliantly innovative offerings like Guitar Freaks and DrumMania, the companyâs desperate attempt to cash in on Rock Bandâs success is as surprising as it disappointing.
Even worse, Rock Revolutionâs 7-pad drum set also baffled the world, the game lacked guitar peripherals, and it featured graphics that made the Muppet-mouthed âsingersâ from Guitar Hero III look like a technological triumph.
Power Gig: Rise Of The Six-String (2010, PS3/Xbox 360)
Released just as the vultures were beginning to circle the plastic-instrument-based genre, Power Gigâs big selling point was its authentic guitar peripheral that could supposedly help you learn how to play the real thing. Indeed, the guitar was technically real, but it was a slab of plastic junk that any guitar aficionado would be ashamed of.
Even sadder still, the game was a standard Guitar Hero clone and did nothing to actually teach you how to handle a real axe.
Make My Video (1992, PC/Sega CD)
Drunk with the power of CD storage-capable of holding hundreds of times more audio/visual data than floppy disks, the previous computing medium du jour-gaming industry insiders sagely assumed that digitized video and interactive movies, versus, say, creativity and innovative gameplay, were the future. Case in point: these ultra-repetitive outings starring Kris Kross, Marky Mark and INXS, which let you remix the visual accompaniments of featured tracks by stringing together a limited array of grainy video clips.
But while they may be more noteworthy today as technology experiments gone horribly wrong and kitschy pop culture footnotes, theyâre also artifacts of a simpler, cheesier gaming era. For further pain, see Power Factory Featuring C&C Music Factory, a game whose oddly lit, neo-industrial backdrops and diabolical close-up shots better suit a Saw flick than anything rated as suitable for consumption by Walkman-loving children. âThings That Make You Go Hmmm,â indeed.
Virtual VCR: The Color of Modern Rock (1992, Sega CD)
Nothing dates a game faster than a carton of milk stuck behind a furnace than putting the words âVirtualâ and âVCRâ together. Sadly, The Color of Modern Rock didnât give users the dignity of controlling their own torture. Instead, all they could do was suffer through some grainy Eric Martin music videos and take screenshots for the purpose of⊠well, who the hell knows?
Once again, the Sega CD explicitly demonstrated that video games and live-action FMV were never meant to go together, so thanks for taking that bullet, Sega.
Rap Jam: Volume 1 (1995, SNES)
Despite the misleading title, Rap Jam was actually an SNES-era basketball game that starred some of the biggest rappers and hip-hop groups from the â90s including House Of Pain, Coolio and Queen Latifah. Sadly for a title about fancy footwork on the court, the game played as if everyone was wearing ice-skates.
Whatâs more, the background music was completely lacking; talk about a waste of Naughty By Nature. Still, things have a strange way of working out in end. After all, there was never a Volume 2âŠ
Guitar Hero Encore: Rocks The â80s (2007, PlayStation 2)
Otherwise known as Guitar Hero: Where it All Started to Go Wrong, Rocks The â80s garnered a lot of criticism for charging full-price for what was essentially an expansion pack (and a lackluster one at that).
In 2007, digital song downloads had yet to really take off, but even so, GH Encore: Rocks The â80s is a sign of what was to come for the franchise: overpriced and oversaturated, two of several key factors leading to its eventual downfall.
Dance Praise (2005, Mac/PC)
Considering that the Bible is stuffed with talking snakes, sex, genocide, destruction, and monsters that make Resident Evilâs slavering corpses look like extras on iCarly, thereâs no reason why Christian video games shouldnât be brilliant. Unfortunately, the opposite often tends to be true: these games generally tend to be weak alternatives to religiously agnostic outings. One such example is Dance Praise, a rhythm game based on Dance Dance Revolution
Not only was the game derivative and insultingly easy, but the music was sanitized in order to be appropriate for âyoung Christian ears.â To quote Bart Simpson: âEveryone knows that the best bands are affiliated with Satan.â
Excerpted from new book âMusic Games Rockâ by Scott Steinberg, which is 100% free to download online at www.MusicGamesRock.com, and available in iBooks/Kindle ($2.99) and paperback ($24.99) editions. The head of video game consulting firm TechSavvy Global and host of online video series Game Theory, heâs a celebrated business speaker and regular on-air technology expert for ABC, CBS, NBC, FOX and CNN.
