There Are Altogether Too Many Links In Mario Kart 8

Mario Kart 8 got some new stuff today in a DLC update. The thing we were all most excited for, by far, was getting to play as Link in Mario Kart. A little too excited, by the looks of it.

https://lastchance.cc/link-is-now-in-mario-kart-and-he-brought-a-sword-1658354893%3C/a%3E%3C/p%3E

Let’s be honest, we all knew this was going to happen. Prescient Mario Kart players saw it coming so clearly they even drew a picture of it:

This is what Mario Kart 8 online is going to look like tomorrow. #VroomVroomHyaaah pic.twitter.com/0j4Qgsu2Tn

— Ben Bertoli! (@SuperBentendo) November 13, 2014

The predictions were all too real. Once I logged into Mario Kart 8’s online versus mode, everywhere I looked there was another Link. In front of you. To the left. To the right. Look behind you, and there he is again.

https://vine.co/v/OiLBVuTvhUI/embed/simple

Here a Link, there a Link. Everywhere a Link Link.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aet3N8RmINg

Even if the Links only make up a third of the total race, you’ll still find yourself completely surrounded by Links:

Too many Links makes Yellow Yoshi cry.

But the thing is, who doesn’t want to play as Link right now?

I’ll admit, I bought into the hype.

https://lastchance.cc/oh-my-gosh-nintendo-gave-link-a-motorcycle-1646727878%3C/a%3E%3C/p%3E

https://twitter.com/embed/status/532949321885700096

https://twitter.com/embed/status/532949614748770305

https://twitter.com/embed/status/532949672055566337

https://twitter.com/embed/status/532951746239537152

It’s like we’re all jostling over who gets to use the best controller, and who’s gonna get stuck with a Wiimote. Except the controller is Link. Which is sort of disturbing to think about, actually. Link is primarily the protagonist of epic-length single player adventure games, and there’s a reason for that. His identity is perfectly designed to mesh gracefully with a single player’s personal identity

https://lastchance.cc/how-i-learned-links-real-name-1605969226%3C/a%3E%3C/p%3E

Link is “a gathering point for many aspiring heroes, a point people can fixate on but also see themselves reflected in.” And there can only be so many heroes in a single story before it starts to get weird. Players on the Mario Kart 8 subreddit started to feel weird pretty quickly:

“The gang of dead-eyed heroes.” Wow. That is not an image I want to associate with Link, for sure.

I can’t come out and proclaim: Don’t Link and drive. Nobody can. But let’s all remember to Link in moderation.

Lead image via Simon Parkin

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