This Game Reveals the Cold, Calculating and Utterly Evil Nature of Cats

“Oh Mike, don’t be mad. The cat doesn’t realize it just used your comic book storage carton as a litter box”. Lies. In Dingo Games’ free-to-play Clumsy Cat, due out October 18 on iOS, we get a glimpse at the true motivation behind the actions of the common house cat—the complete and utter destruction of everything you love.

You know what the difference is between kittens and cats? Kittens don’t wait until you leave the house to tear apart everything. As I type this there are two kittens in my kitchen tearing a brown paper sack to shreds. This morning I found several paperback books in their litter box. They are destroying everything.

So they’d probably be good at Clumsy Cat, a game that gives players a limited window of opportunity (while the cat’s owner is away) to be all “clumsy” and destroy everything. On purpose, because cats are evil. Infectious jerks too, as there will be a single in-app purchase pack that unlocks more cats and other sorts of animals.

It’s getting cool outside finally and I can’t open my windows because the kittens ripped the window screen open. So clumsy. Jerks.