Tweets from the Nintendo 64 Launch

Twitter was invented 9 1/2 years after the first Nintendo 64 washed up for sale on American shores. That was fortunate for the N64, because, as we re-learned last week, Twitter exists to vivisect any and all video game news—and to make it all seem rather crappy.

But what if people could Tweet about the Nintendo 64’s launch? What remarkable insights could they cram into 140 characters?

It would probably go like this:

“Mark my words, the N64 will be the death of Nintendo #n64”

“There are only two launch titles. WTF?”

“Whoa, you can plug in FOUR controllers?”

“hahahaha cartridges f—- off and die”

“Um, no final fantasy, no purchase”

“Mario 64 looks way too different from SMW.”

“Sorry, but Mario just doesn’t look as advanced as Nights #nintendont”

“They are charging $20 for a 256-kilobit memory card? Come on. At least the controllers are only $30.”

“$200 for the #N64 seems fine, but $70 for #Mario64 is insane.”

“Someone ask @howardlincolnNOA where our new Zelda game is.”

“Nintendo should just go third-party already.”

“Wave Race 64 or Jet Moto?”

“That controller seems way too big”

“Turok, Blast Corps, and Shadows of the Empire. That’s a better launch window than the 32X had.”

“Wait for Spaceworld!”

“”No Twisted Metal?! N64 is worthless!!! #PlayStation4eva”

“The PlayStation is so screwed right now.”

“Hey @hiroshiyamauchiNCL… what about Tomb Raider?”

“That burger, beer, onion rings, fries and shake made me sooo sleepy…”

“We could really use a new Metroid game. Looking forward to one on the N64.”

“Nintendo Sixty-Fouuuuuuuuuuur!!!! bit.ly/9IWLuj”

Share your own N64 launch tweets below.

Top image of Shigeru MIyamoto by Atsushi Tskuada, Associated Press | Modified by Luke Plunkett.