Tycoon games

Though the word has its origins in Japan (a taikun was a lord or prince), “tycoon” is so very American. What image comes to mind when you think of a tycoon? It’s probably one of those lauded 19th century “captains of industry” like Andrew Carnegie or John D. Rockefeller, whose lives are consistently pointed to as proof that capitalism isn’t terrible, actually, you’re just not doing it right.

Read More: Someone Created A Ride In Roller Coaster Tycoon 2 That Will Outlast Our Actual Universe

That’s why Tycoon games feel as American as mass shootings and corrupt politicians—it gives you the chance to build your own mega-lucrative zoo or amusement park or shopping center and capitalize on the desires of the sad, loser masses. They can barely afford their homes because of rising interest rates, and they need a break from the banality of their daily lives, so we, the benevolent barons and architects of society, will give them a little cotton candy as a treat.

So what if the roller coaster track isn’t properly designed and an entire ride’s worth of people fall to their untimely death? They already paid for their tickets. Good look taking us to court for a wrongful death lawsuit with your podunk lawyer—I’ve got a team of Harvard suits waiting to counter sue the pants off of you.—Alyssa Mercante