Viral Steam Game Patched To Aid Cheating

I’m still playing Cookie Clicker instead of writing about Cookie Clicker because I need a good screenshot. That’s what I’m telling myself. It’s a convincing argument—I’m going to use it if Patricia starts asking where this post is. What would really help would be some sort of auto-clicker cheat, something to let me keep gaining extra cookies without ever clicking. Which, rather helpfully, developer Julien “Orteil” Thiennot has just patched support for into the game.

Cookie Clicker, in case you’ve missed the enormous amount of attention it’s re-gained since releasing on Steam September 1, is a classic clicker game. As in, a game where you mindlessly click on the screen, building up a resource that allows you to buy extra elements that build up that resource faster, for not discernible reason whatsoever. They are inexplicable in their popularity. I write these words between checking back in the other window to see if I can afford a few more cookie mines.

In this game the resource is, as you may have guessed, cookies. With your cookies you can buy extra mouse pointers that will auto-click on the big picture of a cookie. And grandmas who will each bake two cookies a second. And cookie farms, which are a thing. As are cookie mines. And so on. Each produces incrementally more cookies per second, which can be doubled with other bought items, and yes, indeed, it quickly gets utterly out of control.

Oh, and when I say “a classic clicker,” I really mean it. Cookie Clicker dates back to 2013, and was one of the first in the genre, and certainly the game that most popularized this most idiotic of ways I’m now spending my afternoon.

Orteil’s patch notes for Cookie Clicker aren’t on Steam, presumably for fear of Valve eyes worrying about such matters. They’re here instead. And the latest update, as spotted by PCGN, contains the following line:

“fixed possible audio-induced memory leaks associated with autoclicking”

Which is to say, he’s made the Steam version of the game work better for those using exploits.

God bless him. There’s no online bragging rights via the game for your score, so the only person you’re cheating is yourself. And your editor.