What Video Games Teach Men About Sex

Did you know that if a woman repeats herself three times, you have to go gain more experience before hitting on her again? GamesRadar takes a tongue-in-cheek look at the carnal lessons males learn through gaming.

It’s called “The Three Strikes Law,” and it’s common throughout most early Japanese role-playing games. It’s completely ridiculous, but in a bizarro world where men only have video games to tell them about wooing the opposite sex, I can see it being quickly adopted by women to help stave off unwanted advances. Heck, it could even work to their favor.

Man: “Hey there, baby.”

Woman: “If only I had a sack full of diamonds…”

Man: “Do you want to get it on or what?”

Woman: “If only I had a sack full of diamonds…”

Man: “You want me to bring you a sack full of diamonds?”

Woman: “If only I had a sack full of diamonds…”

Man: BRB

Later games introduced complicated branching dialog trees that might lead a man to assuming that “women like to talk a lot before having sex.”

Of course it’s not the amount of words you say, but how emotionally engaging your responses are. Just ask BioWare.

Other helpful tips gleaned through gaming include the fact that barmaids really love a guy who kills cellar rats, freeing girls from chains is generally a sure way to get in the pants she might have been wearing before she got chained up, and the fact that despite the instant availability of items just below the soil, you probably shouldn’t use contraceptive devices you dig out of the ground.

Sound advice if I ever heard it.

Sex advice from games [GamesRadar]