Wipeout: The Game Set To Disappoint Fans Of Futuristic Racing This Summer

There’s a new Wipeout game coming to the Nintendo Wii and DS this summer, but don’t get too excited – it’s not what you think.

For nearly 15 years, Sony fans have thrilled to the balls-out futuristic racing action of the Wipeout series, with each installment bringing new challenges and more speed to the beloved hover car racing franchise.

This is not one of those games.

Instead, this is a game based off of ABC’s Wipeout television show, which is a program about people with giant balls. No, really.

See? Giant balls.

Wipeout is a television show that features regular folks trying to get through a rough and tumble obstacle course. Hilarity often ensues. Futuristic racing in hover cars never ensues.

“Watching ABC’s ‘Wipeout’ on TV is outrageous fun, and viewers can’t help but dream of trying the obstacles themselves,” said David Oxford, Activision Publishing. “We designed the video game with this in mind. Wipeout: The Game brings all of the challenge and laugh-out-loud hilarity without the pain.”

I have never seen this show before. I watched a few clips on ABC’s website earlier, and it does seem rather entertaining, but in a string of mini-games sort of way.

Maybe if they tried tying the people to tricked-out hovercrafts?

No, it just wouldn’t be the same. Damn entertaining, sure, but not the same.