XCOM 2 Mod Lets Your Soldiers Hook Up And Have Kids

Last week I posted about an XCOM 2 mod that let squadmates gain stat buffs by bonding with each other over time, ala Fire Emblem. I concluded my post with the question on everyone’s mind: “When can my XCOM 2 soldiers start smooching and get married?” The answer: now.

RealityMachina’s Bonding and Time Travelers mod is the natural conclusion to their previous Squad Cohesion mod… well, if you’re a Fire Emblem fan, anyway. It lets soldiers hook up and produce not-at-all-alarming insta-children. No waiting nine months or stocking the nursery with a glistening arsenal of kid-friendly plasma weapons.

Heck, you don’t even have to endure the magic (and nonstop fuckery) of raising a child. If soldiers are sufficiently into each other, they can just pop out a full-grown human (???) adult on the spot. Here’s how it works:

“Go to a soldier in the Armory, click on Find a bondmate. If anybody meets the requirements, click on them, click through the resistance communications thing (it’s basically a dummy alert to do all the magical kid stuff), then exit out of the armory. You’ll notice the number of soldiers has gone up, go back, and find the new kid waiting to be promoted to Squaddie in the menu, with two additional cross class abilities from their parents (or psionic/lightning reflexes if the parents weren’t the base 4 classes) by default.”

So there you go: babies. Giant, muscular babies who are immediately skilled in the arts of war and—upsetting as it is to consider—love-making. Thanks, mods.

Now then, since I’m one-for-one on this, I’m gonna make another request: Can I get some dating sim elements in XCOM 2? Heck, while we’re at it, why not a face-petting minigame?

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