Your Eyes May Not Survive These Uncharted Figures

If you had to ask people which game series they’d most want action figures based on, your top answer would be Half-Life. Your number two, though, would be Uncharted, so it’s a shame to see these are the first plastic representations of the game’s characters.

They’re part of the Minimates line of Minifig-like toys, designed specifically to look small and boxy. These things have been around for years, and have covered everything from movies to TV shows to comic books. Sometimes, depending on the franchise and inspiration, they work! Sometimes—and this is one of those times—they don’t.

That’s not Nathan Drake. It’s Tom Jones, circa 1966.

He’s one of eight Sony characters to feature in a line of PlayStation Minimates, along with the stars of Jak & Daxter, Ratchet & Clank and Resistance. All of whom are just as uneasy on the eye.

If these look like something you could stick on your desk, they’re available now from Toys ‘R Us. Me, I’m going to sit here and maintain my candlelit vigil for proper Uncharted action figures.