IYU Massage Ari
This “hands-free” massage arm offers a dedicated back massage without needing any fleshy human to work your muscles for you. With its long proboscis and strangely flesh-colored kneading utensil, the machine should be able to offer you an accurate massage no matter your body type. With your face down on the bed, you should be able to control everything thanks to a screen on a bottom shelf and a remote control placed at your fingertips. —Kyle Barr
