Nobody Wants To Use The Patrick Controller

Hello! This week we fight Thanos with our friends, prepare for some Gears of War beta action, discover what a flattened Pikachu looks like, play a hellish Mario Maker course and worry about our dear friend, Patrick Star.

Great Kotaku Content From The Past Week

Like most weeks, Kotaku was filled with some great stories. Here are a few of my favorites!

https://lastchance.cc/marvel-ultimate-alliance-3-the-kotaku-review-1836443471%3C/a%3E%3C/p%3E

I’m excited to play this, but I can’t stop thinking about what this game would have looked like if it was released on other platforms.

https://lastchance.cc/get-to-the-orange-door-is-basically-1980s-titanfall-2-1836458592%3C/a%3E%3C/p%3E

Look, if Respawn can’t make more Titanfall anytime soon, others need to step up and fill that void.

https://lastchance.cc/mario-maker-2-level-is-like-if-satan-got-his-hands-on-1-1836417711%3C/a%3E%3C/p%3E

The Devil is real and he is making Mario levels.

https://lastchance.cc/in-my-sims-world-of-only-women-marge-simpson-is-marrie-1836359467%3C/a%3E%3C/p%3E

https://twitter.com/embed/status/1150831307187843072

“Pika Pika. Pikachu! Pika!”

Translation- “Help. Help. PLEASE! Help!”

https://twitter.com/embed/status/1151488810942947328

I remember when folks would say cartoon shows on Nick and Cartoon Network were ruining kids brains and not good for them. Now we have this shit on YouTube. Yeah, this is better than a kid watching Catdog…

how come none of you told me this controller existed pic.twitter.com/gGVJcxc20l

— Ian Mutchler (@TheFantasticIan) July 16, 2019

Patrick… blink twice if this hurts. Also, is the back of the thumbsticks like…your asshole?

News

Ubisoft Invites Fans To Make Music For Watch Dogs: Legion, Sparking Exploitation Debate

Overwatch Cheaters Are About To Get Games Automatically Shut Down

Joy-Con Drift Is Becoming A Real Problem On The Switch

GTA Online’s Casino Will Have Horse Racing, Private Arcades, And Penthouses

Nike Is Making Official Spongebob Squarepants Sneakers

Trailers And Videos You May Have Missed

Grab your Infinity Stones and super suits, it’s time to beat up the big purple weirdo again.

Hey, the Switch is finally getting a good baseball game.

Ubisoft is releasing the last major update for Wildlands and adding a whole new game mode into the game too.

I’m not the biggest fan of Gears multiplayer, but this still looks fun and is making me more excited to play the full campaign later this year.