Triss

Yennefer really was a meanie-bo-beanie, wasn’t she? She’s callous, inconsiderate of anyone whose feelings aren’t her own, and always reeks of Axe lilac and gooseberries body spray. If you romanced Triss, you love warm, light-hearted people that put all your worries to rest with their beaming smile.

But this wouldn’t be a brutally honest post without me being frank with you. Chances are that when you decided to romance Triss, you put up metaphorical horse blinders whenever folks admonished you by saying Triss is a terrible person for taking advantage of Geralt’s amnesia to live out a very romantic escapade with her dear friend Yennefer’s beau in The Witcher 2 and in the books. Forget those naysayers. Books are for losers and you can’t be bothered playing a game that came out before the year of our lord 2015. You’re in love, goddamn it, and you’re not afraid who sees you and Triss make shadow puppets in that old abandoned lighthouse.