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AAAAAHHHHHH!: Outlast

Screenshot: Red Barrels
Screenshot: Red Barrels

I am telling you this in confidence—in 2013, I was fascinated by every aspect of first-person survival horror Outlast. The story, a journalist trying to expose the gory happenings of a dilapidated asylum, touched that apple pit in my chest that guides my voyeuristic interest in horror (and writing). What’s going to happen next? And if it’s bloody, what might that look like?

But as a 13-year-old, One Direction posters still hanging proudly on my wall, I was too afraid to play Outlast alone. So I watched PewDiePie play it. I’m sorry. I am so sorry.

Read More: Watching Someone Else Play Resident Evil 7 On YouTube: The Kotaku Review

Little is more frightening than a disgraced gamer. Except maybe Outlast itself, which is disgustingly lascivious, as muddy and bulldozing as a pig, and continues to keep me up at night even though I’ve taken those posters down.

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